Can you believe it, that it is finally 2010, in 3 years that means I have been out of High School for 10 Years!? Time sure has flown by since I have graduated High School, I most certainly have changed. I am a little out there, and in times find myself quite boring, since I have graduated.
In 2009, my life changed not really for the better though, health wise – yes. But I also met a few new people, and I started hanging with them, before I knew it I lost myself, and lost everything I worked hard for. Picking up those pieces sure is hard, which is what I am currently doing right now. Its going to take a while for me to get back on my feet. It is time again, that I start taking care of myself, start going for my goals, and start being the person, that I know that I can be.
In 2009, I also realized who my true friends are. You know who you are, and you know you will always be by my side. You have seen me change over the years, and you have seen that I have struggled, and for one of you – You truly know me as a person, I Thank You for your friendship over the year, may many more, and for future use, Thank You!
This 2009, was the hardest year for me from family issues with my dad, to my dad being in the hospital, to finding out (which was a Great lesson learned) on how some people I met a long the way this year, can fully take you, and use you, with out you even realizing what they are doing, but everyone else tends to see it, and to being sick with stomach issues – from infections to gallbladder issues.
Life for me will never be the same, I can not live in the past, I have to live for the present, I will never know my future even though it scares me, like you would not believe, but isn’t that what transition is all about. Over the years, I have slowly transitioned into someone who is Independent, who just wants to learn as much as I can, even in little time. Every day is a learning experience, and every day is a transition period. Life can change at any given moment. My future 2010, I feel is going to be bright for me, a few friends, I know for a fact will leave my life, and when that time comes, I will transition that part of my life, at that time. I also know now that I can not worry about others, on what they are doing with their life, it is time, (and I know have said this countless of times), that Ineed start taking care of myself, from every aspect, it is time for me to truly be Happy, even though there is that void in my life, that seems that is not fulfilled yet. It is time that the person who walks into my life, and into my heart to take that void away. It is time for me to settle down, and make a family. That is what I want for myself. I know its not going to happen now, but I pray that the person who will love me for countless years from now walks into my life this year of 2010.
What ever 2010, throughs my way, I may not be ready, but I certainly can gaurantee that I will try to handle the situation to the best of my ability, and that is all I can live for. If I do not make people happy, just be happy, that we are alive, be happy with what you got. You have to be happy with yourself before you make any else happy. That is one of the hardest things that I am trying to learn in my life.
A few things I am happy about is the fact that in one year, I have lost a total of 60 pounds, and my best friend had a baby girl, who I kind of adopted as my niece, and the future flower girl for when ever I do get married, along with the fact, I met some new people, even though I do not see some of these folks often, I know by the times I have talked to them, and how they listen to me, I know they have lead a life, that made them wise beyond their years, and the fact they taught me a few things about life, that I just keep to myself. :)
My goals for 2010 are, but not necissarily in this order:
Lose the 57 pounds – to hit my goal weight of 150, by my 26th Birthday.
Eating No Carbs! (This is gonna be Hard)
Exercise 4 times a week, with 3 days out of the week doing pilaties at home.
Move into a Condo, that I can finally call “My Own.”
Be Patient for the Love of my Life.
To Try and do a Video blog about life, to where the camera follows me to the gym, so everyone can see all my sweatiness. This is also for myself, too, I want to look back on the video for future use to show how far I have come in my weightloss, and my struggles with life. This video would be like a transition of sorts.
Last but not least, To be Happy with Myself!.
As I leave this blog, I have to remember the words that a teacher once said, “Alesha you see what you think people see. You are Beautiful person, that is what people see.”
To those who read my blog, Thank You, for being patient for all the times I have not updated. Hope 2010 brings Happiness for every single one of you.
~Lesha
Mysterious Writer 