I never really know where to begin. I know it has been awhile since I have written or typed (whatever you would like to call it) a blog, in well over a month. A lot has happened this year. I have learned a lot, I have learned that when friends, family, or even other people make a promise, to still not expect that promise to become a reality, and if it does, still do not expect anything. Life should be about surprises, and so far this year has definitely been a surprise, and one the hardest years that I have had in a long, long time.
I am not sure what 2011 will bring me, but I hope it brings me new insight to things in life, I hope 2011 can define just a little bit more of myself. I hope that whichever comes out about in this messed up situation that is currently going on, will get better, that things will turn around for the better.
This year in 2010, I have constantly been told that I am sweet, nice, gorgeous, funny, and all around good person. My questions this year are possibly some of the most frequent ask questions about life or about one self, a few would be: ‘If I am such a nice person, why does it feel that I am being used?’ ‘Why does life always throw me curve balls?’ ‘Why do some think, that everything revolves around them?’ ‘When is it my turn . . . ?’
Everyone has heard the saying, ‘Some of Life questions’ are the hardest life questions, and also the most unanswered questions.’ Or something along those lines, I feel that the life questions that we face, and ask ourselves every day or as often as we can. That there are many answers to those life questions and every single answer is different, because not every one’s life is the same.
Trust is one the big things that I have this year, people who I thought I could count on basically put into positions that I have never been in, and is the hardest to get out of. I have always wanted people in my life that I can trust, and the moment that I feel I can trust them, it back fires. I know there are about a handful of people I can trust, and for that I am grateful because without them, I have no clue on where I will be. Yet, I am Thankful for so much this year, even though it may not sound like it . . . I am.
My goal for 2011, is to get back on track, to let life just lead, and to let things happen, even things that I have no control over, to become healthy again, to learn a new way of relieving stress, to be more in the moment with things, because before we know it we may get sideswiped and really lose track on what is most important. I have always said, ‘that you have to choose to be happy,’ and I think I lost that a bit. There is no reason, besides life just gets crazy, but for me that is a lame excuse. I am content currently in my life, with unwanted stress, that I wish would magically disappear.
I have learned this year, not everything is going to go the way I expect or wish for them to go. I know there is a plan out there for me, and that plan I know will define a big part of who I am as a person. I have so many dreams, and hopes for the future. I plan on going to college, sometime in the fall of 2011 or beginning of 2012, I feel I need something to fall back on things. Now I just have to decide what I would like to do: Account Management with a minor in Marketing, Graphic Communications with a minor in Marketing & Advertising.
So, as the end of my year of 2010…I hope 2011 will be a lot better, happier, and less stress as much as possible. But currently is not starting out that way. Cross your fingers, and pray for the best.
As, a lady told me today, “this too shall pass.” I hope this lady has a very happy, who was told that she will not see the day of her 49th Birthday, and she just turned 49, 3 days ago, and they gave her another 2-3 years to live. I hope, and pray for the best for her. I hope she continues with the humor that she has in life.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Years!
~ Lesha
Mysterious Writer 